Meeting on Tinder, Tiffany and Joe’s first date was at a supermarket, followed by a home-cooked dinner made by Joe! They chose to hold their special day at Globe Dye Works in Philadelphia, the perfect fusion of industrial and creative.
Tiffany and Joe incorporated their love of pop punk and emo music into their wedding, with Tiffany walking down the aisle to an acoustic version of a When You Know, by pop punk band, Neck Deep, as well as hiring their city’s emo night DJ for their ceremony. They also had coasters made with lyrics to a favourite song, which they spread around the venue and used to accompany the pin favours. In another nod to pop punk, the couple brewed their own signature beers and named them after special pop punk songs.
A non-traditional, quirky wedding was the ideal celebration for Michelle and Kyne, however they kept some of tradition of a wedding-day routine, just doing it in their own way. The bride is a divorce lawyer and so they had two judge friends officiate and instead of a flowergirl there was an adult ‘flower babe’. The bride, who is almost 40 and had been married and divorced already, walked in with her dad to Rainbow Connection.
Having planned on getting ready in separate rooms, and seeing each other at the aisle for the first time, Michelle and Kyne decided at the last minute to shun that tradition. Michelle explained, “One room had a balcony and better lighting than the other so we both chose to prep there. On the morning of our wedding, all the details didn’t seem to matter – we just were excited for the festivity. Helping each other get dressed made so much more sense ultimately. If anyone was to adjust his suspenders, it was meant to be me. When preparing for a major life event, we are supposed to be together.”
Alice and John (who is non-binary), married on December 21st in an orange meets boho meets 70s themed day. Armed with a budget of £10,000 they actually underspent, with everything coming in for less than £3,000! They did this by deciding to cut their guest list way down, buying their outfits from independent and Etsy sellers and changing their venue from a traditional wedding venue barn (which would have cost £4k) to Craven Cruck Barn in Appletreewick which was only £400 for the day!
A focus on fun was the order of the day at Chris and Kara’s wedding, with a relaxed vibe, limbo, a dinosaur dance party and a sparkler send off to celebrate. They chose The Wood Shed in Vista, California as their venue, featuring natural wood, a gorgeous pergola to say their vows, and strings of twinkling lights to dance under.
Sabah, an Indian Muslim and the creative director of Mumbai-based wedding design company Atisuto Events, married Usman, a British-Pakistani business and economics professor, in an intimate 25-person wedding in Dubai. Meeting over Hinge during the pandemic, they first met in person in August 2020 and they were married in December 2021.
Can you believe it, our real bride’s penultimate column! We can’t wait to share how Rachel’s Tolkien inspired garden wedding turned out in our next issue, but for now, she’s discussing a topic that pickles every feminist bride’s brain at least once – should you change your name when you marry or not?
People often get my surname wrong. Even though I’ve spent my life spelling it out for people down the phone (‘B – E – Double T – E- S – Worth’), over the years I’ve been Butterworth, Butterscotch and even Battleworth. But, despite the 31 years of typos—and the fact that I often just say ‘Jones’ when making a booking to avoid confusion— Bettesworth is my name. And I’m extremely attached to it.
I always liked coming first or second in the register at school (unlike Kat, who hated coming last and then married a man whose surname was even further down the alphabet than her own! Sorry, Kat!). I like my name’s uniqueness. I like that it connects me to my beloved late Grandpa, to my parents, to my own family tree.
And yet, by the time you read this, I am going to become someone else on paper… because I have chosen to take my husband’s name when we get married.
I find this phrasing so interesting. Traditionally, the bride ‘takes’ the name of her new husband. Not ‘is allocated’ or ‘is given’. She ‘takes’ his name, implying that she had some say in it, when actually it was more to do with the ownership of the woman exchanging from her father to her husband, by name; a non-negotiable component of the transaction of marriage.
For me, the use of the word ‘take’ suggests that the ‘she’ in question gains something. But what? And, in turn— because where there is gain there tends to be loss— what is ‘he’ losing? He holds onto his own name, his prior identity, while she becomes someone else. What is that implying; that before becoming someone’s wife she was without meaning; that her years as a Miss are irrelevant now she is a Mrs?
And excuse me, his title doesn’t even change. From now on, each time she introduces herself to someone new it comes with a relationship status notification. Roughly translated, ‘Hi, I’m Mrs So-and-So’, means, ‘Hi, I’m married’. His introduction is ambiguous; it doesn’t matter either way whether he is married or not, while she is defined by her status as a married woman from the start. Is that not oppressive? Is that not the covert patriarchy chip-chip-chipping away?
Whatever your gender and whoever you’re marrying— whether you’re changing your name or not— like so many wedding traditions, we have to admit: the origin of this one is sticky. Right?
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